How to Rewire Your Brain with these 5 Powerful Self Talk Tips

There is power in positive self talk.

You may have heard this before, but maybe you didn’t realize just how powerful what we say and think to ourselves truly is. I personally didn’t realize this myself until I started paying a little more attention.

I’ve always considered myself a pretty positive person. So I always kind of disregarded this whole “positive self talk” idea, thinking it didn’t really apply to me. No need to focus on self talk here. I got that covered.

But then I really started to pay attention to my thoughts and what I was saying/thinking to myself and about myself. I realized I don’t always say or think the nicest things about “me.” Actually I can be pretty hard on myself a good chunk of the time and I had no idea!

This all started from a motivational speech that Steve Harvey gave a few years ago (that I just heard recently). He talked about how what we say to ourselves directly determines what our day will look like. Saying things like “I have to go to work.” “I have to workout” etc.

He then talked about how one change to the sentence can change your entire outlook for the day. Changing it to “I get to go to work.” “I get to workout.”

This one little change can have profound positive life changes. And it all comes down to self talk. What we say matters, especially when it’s what we are saying to ourselves.

This all really hit deep for me and I started to do a little more research into the idea of self talk and just how important it really is.

What is Self Talk?

Self talk is quite honestly the way in which we talk to ourselves or about ourselves. It’s that inner voice inside our heads that’s constantly chattering away during every waking hour.

Why is Self Talk Important?

Our thoughts create our beliefs. And our beliefs help determine our action. Think of your inner voice as a narrator, narrating your entire life from the moment you wake up until you go to bed and when you wake up again the next day.

What is it you are telling yourself day in and day out?

Is your inner voice motivational? Is it cheering you on and getting you excited for new opportunities? Or is it a little less inspiring? Are you bringing yourself down by telling yourself you aren’t good enough?

Overtime you are going to start believing that voice. You’re hearing/thinking these thoughts over and over every day and eventually it’s going to become your reality.

Negative Self Talk isn’t Always Easy to See

The Steve Harvey speech really hit something for me. It forced me to look a little deeper at myself. How have I been talking to myself? Am I my own personal cheerleader or am I a secret self-sabotager?

I took all of this back and thought a little more about the way I’ve talked to myself in the past. Would anything really have changed if I had just phrased things differently?

It was an interesting enough question for me to start taking it seriously.

I decided to start paying way more attention to the way I talk to myself and be more mindful and aware of the thoughts that were coming and going.

After all the mind is constantly at work, so unless you take the time to really pay attention, the thoughts will come and go without you really even noticing.

But they are always there! That’s the important thing to remember.

After doing this for a bit, I began to quickly realize I had a constant thought that always popped into my head.

“I’m too tired.”

Now this might not sound like that much at first. But once I noticed it, I REALLY NOTICED IT! I thought it to myself sometimes several times a day! I’m too tired. I’m too tired to write, I’ll just do it tomorrow. I’m too tired to workout. I’m too tired to cook tonight so I’ll eat out instead. I’ll cook dinner tomorrow.

I was saying this to myself ALL THE TIME!

Telling myself I’m too tired to do the things I wanted to accomplish, made me just give them up altogether. I pushed it to the next day. And the next day, and to the next day after that.

And you know what happened?

I just kept pushing. It became a snowball effect of pushing out healthy habits that I actually wanted to accomplish for myself. But suddenly this became the routine. It was an excuse and that excuse turned into more negative self talk.

“I’m too tired to workout” quickly snowballs into “I’m not working out enough, I’m going to gain weight, I’m not doing enough for my health.” The negativity just grows and grows and GROWS.

Acknowledging that the negative thoughts are there is definitely the first step. But changing the thoughts can be a little more difficult.

That’s why I came up with with this method called The 5 R’s to Redirect Negative Self talk. This is my own take on how to begin to transform your thought process from a place of negativity to one guided by more positivity and love.

This method has helped me tremendously when it comes to transitioning from negative thoughts to positive ones which is why I wanted to share it with you today.

So let’s dive right in!

The 5 R’s to Redirect Negative Self Talk.

Step 1. Recognize

We don’t always realize how we treat ourselves. We can be good at putting ourselves down without even realizing it at all. The ego can be great at disguising this ugly behavior.

That’s why it’s so important to take a little time for yourself. Being mindful of those thoughts in your head and starting to make yourself aware of the things you’re actually thinking.

It takes a little bit of time and a little bit of practice, but this first step is crucial.

Begin to recognize what thoughts are constantly coming and going. Take a beat and pay attention to what those thoughts are really saying.

Often times these thoughts come and go so much that there comes a point where we no longer pay any attention to them. They just become the norm for us. But it’s so important to understand that just because we aren’t paying attention to them doesn’t mean they aren’t still controlling us. These thoughts are dictating our actions without us even knowing it.

That’s why taking the time to listen to them is VITAL if we ever want to change them.

If it helps you can write them down. Whenever you find yourself saying something negative to yourself or about yourself go ahead and write it in a journal. You don’t need to do anything else at this point. You are simply recognizing and acknowledging.

Become aware.

In order to begin to change the negative self talk we first need to understand what is it exactly that we are saying to ourselves? Once we know this we can begin to change the message, turning it into one of positivity and self love.

Do this for a few days or even a week. Then move on to step 2.

Step 2. Reflect

Suppressing these negative thoughts is a tactic we almost always want to turn to. Pushing the issue down is far easier than dealing with the underlying issue itself.

The hard part about this however, is the cold, hard fact that it wont stay down there forever. Someday, it will come back, often times larger and angrier than ever.

That’s why it’s so important to deal with the issue now. Where is this negative self talk coming from? What’s the reason for it? What might have started it?

We need to pull the curtain back and begin to expose it.

Now these are really just theoretical questions you can begin to ask yourself. But by no means do you need to actually answer them.

At this stage we are just asking the questions to help gain a little more clarity and dig a little deeper. Ask yourself the questions and begin to write down whatever pops into your head. Don’t put too much thought into it, just write what comes up.

Step 3. Replace

Once you’re aware of these pessimistic notions the ego has been feeding to you, you can begin to rephrase the narrative and replace it with kinder, gentler, more loving words of positivity and encouragement.

This part can be a little easier said than done, but with repetition it will become more of a daily habit. But it does take time. It won’t happen right away and that’s ok. Understand that this is a practice. And one that we all have to be mindful of on a consistent basis.

Step 4. Release

Don’t get down on yourself when the negative self talk begins to make an appearance. It will happen. Sadly that’s just life. Understand that it’s ok. Acknowledge the thought when it comes and then let it go. Don’t attach too much emotion to it. Instead, when this happens just move on to step 5.

Step 5. Repeat

Even after following these steps, it wont all go to plan every time. You’ll still have days when those annoying little thoughts creep into your mind uninvited and without warning. Don’t be hard on yourself when this happens.

Whenever you begin to feel the negative self-talk creeping up just start the process over again.

Here is a quick recap:

Recognize:

Take the time to really listen to what it is you are saying to yourself. Like I mentioned earlier, the negativity can hide itself a bit so it’s important to really take the time necessary to listen to what you are saying in order to catch yourself.

Reflect

Take the time needed to reflect on the thoughts you are experiencing. Try to better understand where these thoughts are coming from (if you can). Why are you thinking this? What experiences or situations might have led to these thoughts in the first place?

Remember it’s ok to not have these answers.

Replace

Take those negative thoughts and begin to replace them with positive, loving self talk. Those negative thoughts no longer have a home here. It’s time to rewrite the story.

Release

Let it go and forgive yourself when the negative thoughts show up.

As we grow and evolve our ego will do everything it can to hold us back. It’s the egos way of keeping us “safe.” Moving forward and trying new things is “scary and unknown.” The ego does what ,it can to keep us where we are. Where it’s “safe.”

Moving forward and growing is bound to cause the negativity to creep in from time to time. Just understand where this is coming from and release those thoughts when they come up. Acknowledge that they are there to protect you. Don’t attach too much emotion to them. And just let them go.

Repeat

Always repeat the process as needed to help get you back on track. And remember it’s a practice and one we need to work on daily.

To Sum it all Up

Until I started paying real attention, I never realized how damaging these thoughts could actually be. And how these seemingly unimportant, insignificant statements can add up quickly and begin to take over without us even realizing it.

So from now on I’m going to focus on how I talk to myself and be much more mindful about the thoughts I fill my head with.

Changing the phrasing has helped me a TON to stay motivated and stay on top of my goals. Whenever I catch myself saying “I’m too tired,” it’s an instant flag now. I quickly change it around to “I’m not too tired to write, I’m not too tired to workout. I want to workout, I want to cook dinner.

It starts to come from a place of happiness, excitement and positivity.

Like anything else, with time and practice it becomes habit.

You’ll begin to control the conversation whenever the negative self talk feels like getting chatty.

I’m curious, do you have any negative phrases you tell yourself that are holding you back? If so, what positive phrases are you going to replace them with going forward?

Let’s do this together! Happy positive self talk everyone!

Until next time,